24 February 2007

New line of export and old line of import

Why should he continue to waste his talents and what's left of his relative youth on the Israeli electorate? His comrades in the Likud scheme to undermine him. His former comrades in Kadima miss no chance to demonize him. His potential coalition partners in Labor want nothing to do with him.
This is Bradley Burston about Bibi Netanyahu. And his proposal is:
It's time for Benjamin Netanyahu to do what he was made to do. Run for the U.S. Senate.
The idea is not brand new, I must say. Somebody has already came up with it several years ago, I just cannot be bothered to look it up. Bradley, however, went a step further and prepared some preliminary figures for Bibi to look at and to choose the most suitable state. No bad at all.

Still, this is not exactly breaking a new ground. However, at the end of the article Bradley made a remark that has triggered a really new idea in the Elders' HQ:
Once this matter is settled, an issue which has remained unresolved for decades may yield to solution: Which European nation should crown Shimon Peres its ceremonial head of state.
And the idea is simple: export of second-hand politicians as a new line of business for the government. An activity like this cannot be delegated to a private company. Same as we prefer to keep the export of all kinds of military machinery under a tight control of the ministry of defence. A politician for export should be classified somewhere between a small warship and a whole wing of jet fighters, depending on years in service, rank and destructive potential.

Since we have a heavy arsenal of fairly lethal second-hand politicians, the outlook is excellent and we expect this new line of export to become very profitable.

If, however, the market proves to be too bearish, the Elders could always take over the activity, resorting to our world domination routine. This means that the politicians in question will be simply distributed to various countries according to the need (as we, the Elders, perceive it), the urgency and the availability of suitable accommodations.

And speaking of destructive potential, it seems that above mentioned Peres becomes a real menace:
Vice Premier Shimon Peres toured the northern border yesterday with GOC Northern Command Maj.-Gen. Gadi Eisenkot. "Hezbollah took a major blow in the war and is far from returning to its previous condition," Eisenkot said.

Peres said he was aware that weapons were being smuggled to Hezbollah, "but having arms isn't the same as having power," the vice premier said. "The problem isn't the weapons, it's how Hezbollah is being directed."
The quote above shows clearly that Peres already has to be ranked as a weapon of mass destruction.
Peres added that arms shipments to Hezbollah via Syria are continuing. "There is a route for transfering knowledge, weapons and terror agents, and the route passes through Iran, Syria and Hezbollah," Peres said.
Hezbollah as a link in the supply chain of the weapons leading to Hezbollah... The last quote indicates that he is reaching the critical mass and should be relocated as far as possible, better to a country in state of war with Israel - to avoid the bother of warranty period and customer complaints.

Regarding our customary import, here is the latest example:
A large-scale suicide bomb attack in the Tel Aviv area was prevented yesterday when police and security forces arrested an Islamic Jihad militant and his associates at an apartment in Bat Yam. The militant told police where the explosive device he was supposed to use in the attack was located and the bomb squad found the large explosive device in a garbage can in the center of Rishon Letzion.
It seems that thanks to the major effort of the police and Shin Bet, a lot of lives were saved. And more - this import transaction has been already paid for:
Undercover Border Police troops killed an Islamic Jihad commander in the West Bank town of Jenin on Wednesday, one day after a suicide bombing attempt he allegedly ordered was thwarted in Tel Aviv.
We hope that the promptness of this business interaction will show our business partners in the Islamic Jihad that the responsibility usually belongs to the managers that should rethink their position on the whole issue of their export activity.