31 March 2006

Past its shelf date

I have purchased a book in an airport bookstore. An act that by itself does not merit a mention.
But now, after a closer look at the cover, I have found something remarkable: there are words on a cover (not a sticker the bookstores or publisher sometimes put, but really an imprint on the cover) that announce the following:


(I have done my best to convey the sizing and coloring of the text.)

Now I am confused and concerned. Have I bought a book past its prime? Could it hurt me physically or mentally? Why hadn't the seller warned me on the possible dangers of that purchase? Should I sue?

The book, accidentally, is Bad Business by Robert B. Parker.

30 March 2006

The silence of Treppenwitz

Treppenwitz keeps off politics for about three weeks or even more. Well, he mentioned Ben Chorin once, which mention by itself should count as a political post, but otherwise...

It will all end in an eruption akin to that of Popocatepetl, I say. They will talk about it for years afterwards.

Yes, but on the other hand...

It seems that Israeli government, when it is formed, has its work cut out for it.

As Jerusalem Post reports, Hamas wants to negotiate:

Hamas sources warned on Thursday that if Israel did not begin its negotiations with the Palestinians, they would return to their armed struggle.

apparently their will to make peace is so strong they will not hesitate to kill for it.

Furthermore, Palestinian Prime Minister Ismail Haniyeh announced in his inauguration on Wednesday that all members of his government were "potential shahids (martyrs)."

That is an announcement to be applauded. So, let's go for peace negotiations, why don't we?

But, on the other hand, as Haaretz says:

Meanwhile, the armed groups in Gaza, including ones from Fatah, Islamic Jihad and the Popular Resistance Committees, announced they would continue their armed struggle against Israel. Islamic Jihad, which launched a Katyusha rocket into Israel on Tuesday, announced it also had Russian-made Grad missiles, and that it intended to increase its launches into Israel.

Quite a quandary, isn't it? Kill you if you wouldn't negotiate, kill you if you would.

Go figure...

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

Now everything is explained!

Vital Perspective made one thing clear today for me:

Feds Bust International Smuggling Ring that Raised Money for Hezbollah

A smuggling ring operating in Michigan helped fund Hezbollah with profits from bootlegged cigarettes, counterfeit tax stamps, phony Viagra tablets and hijacked toilet paper, according to a federal indictment unsealed in Detroit on Wednesday.

Feeding phony Viagra to unsuspecting American males... Uhu. Obviously, the real Viagra is consumed by Hezbollah with some spillovers (no pun intended) to Jihad Islami and affiliated folks.

That explains why so many people in the Middle East are exceedingly frisky...

So who is The Most Democratic One?

Ynet reports on an amazing (no, just mildly interesting) lecture by Libyan president. This one:

Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi lectured a U.S. audience on democracy on Thursday and said Libya is the only real democracy in the world.

Via a video link, Gaddafi addressed an unprecedented gathering of U.S. and Libyan academics prompted by a thaw in relations since the former pariah state decided in 2003 to abandon nuclear weapons and took responsibility for the 1988 Lockerbie bombing.

He touted Libya's political system as superior to "farcical" and "fake" parliamentary and representative democracies in the West."

We don't want to piss on Muammar's parade, but we believe that there are a few competitors for the title of "The Most Democratic One". See some of them:

(Mind you, the above are just for starters, there are many more where they come from.)

Besides, Muammar, if you want to participate in a fair and open bid for the title, you have to decided first on that name of yours: is it Qaddafi, Gaddafi, al-Ghadafi, Gadafi, Qadhafi, ...?

It was good and peachy when queuing for Soviet assistance as several Arab rulers. But in the free and fair market to bid for a title you have to consolidate these names into one.

No multiple entries allowed!

Feds in your excrement?

Rachel of Tinkerty Tonk has some news for you. It appears that White House would like to know more about the stuff... no, read it at Rachel's.

Meanwhile, I have some good news for the authorities - I feel like I may have lots of stuff for them to analyze and am in dire need of a break.

29 March 2006

Diaspora Jews choose Likud in mock elections

This is the headline of a wondrous piece of news from Haaretz.

Likud won the mock elections held among Jewish voters abroad Tuesday, with 44 seats.

Kadima came in second in the Jewish Agency-run election, with 33 seats. National Union-National Religious Party won 15 seats, and the Labor Party got 14.

Some 8,500 Jews abroad, primarily young people and students, voted in the mock elections held at community centers and on college campuses in 85 countries.

Really - Bibi with 44 MKs? Come on, children! There is that Israeli song with words "things that could be seen from here are not seen from there" (or something like this, anyhow). We have already seen enough of Likud and of Bibi to see that this dog will not learn any new tricks.

But the real punch line comes at the end:

Baruch Marzel's far-right party won five seats, and the pro-marijuana Green Leaf party won three.

Wow... What do these youngsters smoke nowadays?

On the merits of escalation

Meryl has already reported here and here on the Katyusha appearance in the arsenal of at least one gang from the "alphabet soup" of the various similar gangs in the Gaza strip.

Now Jihad Islami - the gang mentioned above - is boasting that they have more of these toys.

The Islamic Jihad, who on Tuesday morning fired for the first time a Katyusha rocket into Israel from the Gaza Strip, announced Wednesday that it has many more of those rockets, Army Radio reported.

The Katyusha rocket has twice the range of the primitive Kassam rocket, is more accurate and can carry more explosives.

An IDF officer called the use of Katyushas, "an escalation on the Gaza battlefield."

Clearly the escalation the IDF officer mentions is what JI desire so much. Clearly, the Katyusha launches are not intended to win the war against IDF, just to get the escalation going.

Then JI and its friends will get the reason for a outcry in the media about the cruel and murderous IDF killing innocent citizens blah blah blah...

And the extreme right in Israel will get the reason for an outcry in the media about cruel and murderous terrorists blah blah blah...

And so on and so on...

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

Questions and answers

Elections notwithstanding, the murky waters of Internet continue bringing up most interesting inquiries. Unlike some other bloggers, I shall be charitable with people who desire knowledge, no matter that their questions are sometimes bizarre and sometimes plain stupid. Instead of just listing the inquiries, I shall answer them! How do you like that novel approach? So, here comes a session of FAQ (pronounce it as you will):

Q: Ben Bernanke jewish?

A: Yes, still Jewish. No change here, and we are monitoring the situation.

Q: Do Jews have sex?

A: Oh boy(girl), you cannot imagine - they go at it as if there is no tomorrow.

Q: Israeli girl sex?

A: That too (see above).

Q: Jews money?

A: Yes. YES. YES.

Q: Israel sex?

A: Yes, it's quirky sometimes.

Q: Sex crimes by jews?

A: Mundane, I would say. A bit of disappointment. Just the other day I... No, take it off-line, please. Our e-mail is there on the upper right side (how to be rude to us).

Q: Farshtunkener dictionary?

A: Usually means "stinky". Applies to almost everything. No, no need to thank me, just keep your distance, that's a good boy.

Q: Al-Thawra bird flu?

A: Re that Al-Thawra position - the questions re sex are thoroughly exhausted, and as far as we know, bird flu is not an STD. Unless the birds... Nah, too weird...

No need to thank me at all, just lay off that keyboard for a while, please.

Israeli election results

This picture, by itself a gem, summarizes nicely my feeling about the results:

Kadima: 28 Knesset seats

Labor: 20

Shas: 13

Israel Beitenu: 12

Likud: 11

NRP / NU: 9

Pensioners: 7

United Torah Judaism: 6

Meretz: 4

United Arab List: 4

Balad: 3

Hadash: 3

It means another government open to blackmail from different fractions and, most probably, new round of elections looming in the near future.


28 March 2006

A fishy miracle?

Ever watchful Guardian (slow day or what?) reports:

The discovery in Liverpool of two fish apparently bearing the Arabic script for "Allah" and "Muhammad" has been hailed as a miracle by Ali al-Waqedi, who spotted the Oscar fish in a local pet shop, writes Tomi Ajayi.

Islam prohibits images of Allah, so Muslim miracle claims commonly take the form of Arabic letters spelling out the name of Allah. The 2004 miracle lamb episode featured a Palestinian lamb that appeared to have a birthmark spelling Allah in Arabic.

The picture of the sacred fishes attached:

Myself being a carnivore, I would prefer a saddle of lamb, but a good bouillabaisse is not totally out of the question.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

Pernicious lobby controls US foreign policy

Courtesy of Zionation: a new and exciting discovery in lobbyology... lobbology... lobbotomy... heck, you know what I mean...

Anyhow, be on alert!

27 March 2006

On that word verification thingy

Aren't you irked just a bit (actually, quite a bit) by the necessity to weed out up to 9 letters from a jungle of junk, risking your eyes and sanity in the process and to punch them in correctly, all this in order to publish your worthless opinion on somebody's worthless blog?

And the reason given for it: to prevent some wicked person(s) spamming that worthless blog?

If the word verification were happening in real life, for example, done by IDF to Palestinians on the checkpoints, somebody like Amira Hass would have been screaming their head off. I can already see it:



Please oh please, stop this plague!

Dick on the warpath

Via The People's Cube

Lisbon massacre - 500 years

Nuno Guerreiro of Rua da Judiaria created a series of four posts about this tragedy.

More information here.

26 March 2006

OK, OK, enough, we confess!

Under a red colored headline: Like U.S. "“bad apples"”, Israel'’s terrorists are "“lunatics"”, Aljazeera (the .com variety - our favorite loony bin) people scream at the whole universe about their "discovery" of the Israeli dastardly plot: that of destroying the holy sites of Christianity and Islam using so called "lunatics". (For first time users: that "lunatics" passes for sarcasm in Aljazeera.com).

In other circumstances, we, the Elders, would have fought like mo... like fearless lions to protect our good name. But, taking into account the current relaxed secrecy guidelines and the general openness, coupled with absolute impossibility to reason with Aljazeera.com, we have decided to 'fess up. We hope to put the whole story of this poorly planned and eventually failed operation behind us forever.

It started, like many other failures, with some intern in the Operations trying to be too clever for his own good. Of course, the Chief of Operations, in a hurry to get to Switzerland for some cosmetic surgery, did not check the details and just signed the whole shebang off. How typical!

The goal of the operation was simple: to raze the Church of the Annunciation in Nazareth city to free the place for a new 3D model of the Second Temple for tourists. The means were simple: 3 Hollywood actors playing a totally demented family, only partly Jewish, and some explosives for them to throw around to blow up the church with everyone inside. The only thing that appeared to be not so simple was execution of the plan.

The problems started during the training, that was supposed to be short. However, the lead actor, Chaim Topol:

playing the role of Haim Habibi:

- head of the family, refused to move a finger before his special food, designed and cooked by a certain monk in Tibetan monastery is provided twice a day (at quite a cost for the Air Force, I have to add).

Meryl Strip:

Who played the role of the Polish wife, Vivian Habibi (on the left in the picture below):

demanded an exorbitant sum for the role (measly 10 minutes of playing), and only combined pressure of some Zionist Hollywood producers and US ZOG succeeded to reduce the amount significantly. As a result, the training started much later than planned. In the middle of the training course she decided that she should become Jewish and requested a full course in Cabbala

Winona Ryder:

targeted for the role of the daughter Odelia Habibi:

agreed much easer, after a shopping spree in Tel-Aviv was promised. However, she demanded a separate trailer and a whole team of masseurs, hair stylists, etc. with a personal rabbi on top (of the team, that is).

Still, the training progressed albeit too slowly and causing the Elders' a lot of grief and heartburn, but still progressed.

The disaster waited in the guise of the final briefing, conducted by that arch-Zionist Shimon Peres. Here you can see him with the team leader Chaim/Haim and Uri Geller.

Uri Geller's role in this fiasco couldn't be disclosed. (In fact, nobody knows what the role was and, moreover, whether Mr. Geller could possibly do something useful for the operation, it is just that nobody wants to deal with that character. You know how it is with these supernatural types - no one believes in them, but to be on the safe side...)

Anyhow, Peres suffers lately from a nervous twitch in his left eye - a usual pre-election malady of his. The deputy Chief of Operations, being new on the job, was not familiar with this phenomenon, and the result was disastrous. Suffice to say that the "firecrackers" that the trio was supposed to throw around in the church and that in reality should have been full of a new super-secret and super-powerful explosive, were replaced by... firecrackers. The gas containers, instead of a mix of cyanid and nerve gas were filled by CO2 - the stuff used for making soda, for crying out loud!

The rest is history. The only thing left to mention was the role of a Vatican representative who was supposed to publicly forgive the so called "Habibi family" for the sin of destroying (ha!) the Church (on the right in the picture below):

Really, we have expected a better improvisation from Nicolas Cage! So what if the forgiveness was to be issued posthumously? A professional must not be deterred by a small thing like this.

Well, this is the whole story in a nutshell, and I hope it will pacify the Aljazeera (.com) friends for a while (fat chance!)...

Just a question regarding the following sentence in the linked article:

Arabs history is rich with incidents were Muslims and Christians carried the flag of unity defending Islamic and Christian holy sites in the occupied Palestine and elsewhere.

How is that (rumors only, of course) history of cases where churches were destroyed - from Constantinople to Kosovo and Nigeria being qualified by your august news organ? Tourism? Rest and Recreation? Urban renovation? Confusing, innit?

25 March 2006

Abbas 'moots secret peace talks'

Says the BBC headline.

Palestinian leader Mahmoud Abbas has proposed secret peace talks with Israel, a leading Israeli paper has quoted him as saying. Mr Abbas suggested the idea in talks with US officials and former Israeli PM Shimon Peres, Haaretz says. He told the paper he was convinced that a peace agreement could be signed within a year of such talks starting. Mr Abbas said any negotiations would be conducted by the Palestine Liberation Organisation (PLO).

Hmm... That's clearly a novel idea that could lead to a breakthrough in political science. Secret peace talks that will lead to a secret peace agreement that, as long as it is kept under lock and key, will be... er... secret! Just think about it!

I am sure that Abu Mazen's colleagues from Hamas must be thrilled by the idea. After all, it will allow them to go on with their fight for freedom unfettered.

The picture offered by BBC immediately called for another "separated at birth" edition:

Of course, there is no noose on the left one, but I am sure the good folks of Hamas will think about something fitting...

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

24 March 2006

Soft lies - are they misdemeanors or crimes?

Many people these days express their preference of the implacable hate of Hamas to the double-tongued preaching of the previous crowd. Their reasoning is fairly straightforward: yes, Hamas is an outspoken enemy, but it may be possible to do business with them in some unspecified future. If they change their tune, recognize Israel, etc.

I tend to believe this approach, no matter whether it is a realistic one or not. After all, miracles happen, especially in out miracle-infested area, and who knows...

The same logic could be applied quite successfully to a different subject - that of the war of words that puts our small place here in the center of the known Universe, as far as the war of words is concerned, of course (I know pretty well the real importance of the area in general and the country in question in particular and don't deceive myself). Shortly - that frightful stink that people raise about the whole I/P issue.

I, personally, vastly prefer a direct no nonsense approach of our outspoken enemies to a soft-treading "stealth" skulking about of our half-friends. In my opinion, they are much more dangerous in their self-righteous hypocrisy than any of our enemies. Give me Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's speech any time, instead of anything like this article by Geoffrey Wheatcroft. Which article is so full of half-truths and subtle (or not so subtle) twisting of the said truth that it makes me sick. Just a few examples:

"The whole world is against us," says an endlessly popular Israeli song...

No such song, I have even consulted with my children to make sure.

Update: It appears (thanks again, Rahel) that there is a song with the words "The whole world is against us", so it is not a direct lie, after all - just a half truth. It is not "endlessly popular", far from it.

It's very hard to recall the esteem and goodwill in which Israel once basked...

Wow! I am afraid I do not recall that time. Neither do my parents. Was it before the "Zionism=racism" UN resolution or after? Or does Mr. Wheatcroft mean these shipments of flowers of 48, 67, 73... from USSR and our neighbor's ?

It might be a columnist recalling the early 1960s, when progressive young friends (mine too) would go from London to spend the summer on a kibbutz in that heroic land.

Yeah. Some of my best friends are..., indeed. Just to establish your credentials, Mr. Wheatcroft?

In the age of Jenin, and now Jericho, of "targeted killings" and F-16s blasting refugee camps, that turn in Israel's reputation might seem natural enough.

Not so subtle now, what? So it is now the age of Jenin and Jericho. Not the age of Chechnya. Or Darfour. Or Nigeria. Or Aids... By the way it is not F-16s, Mr. Wheatcroft, that would be too expensive. It is Cobras and Apaches. And blasting is mostly confined to cars with some known terrorists (freedom fighters for you). Ever given a thought what could really happen if a few F16s get unleashed on a refugee camp? Or a city? Have you seen the remains of Grozny? No, I doubt it, Grozny is in Chechnya, after all, and it is not important at all in your private universe.

It is really very hard to explain to anyone under the age of 50 just how popular Israel once was, notably among European social democrats and our own Labour party.

Give it a try once, will you? It may be good clean fun once you start. And it was good of you to remind the Suez "trauma" - care to describe it and to mention the culprits? I know that it will be inconvenient to confess that the "popularity" Mr. Wheatcroft is waxing lyrical about was confined to a rather thin slice of Brits of the leftish persuasion - mostly the same ones that cry "wolf" these days each time Israel is mentioned. The ones whose opinion is mostly so much hot air - then and now.

"Jewish villages were built in the place of Arab villages," Moshe Dayan briskly admitted about the creation of his country: "There is not one single place that did not have a former Arab population."

I would not bother to check the source, it is up to the author. However, two remarks: a) the late general was known to utter generalizations and stupidities galore and b) I and my family reside in a place that did not have any former Arab population, and so do many of my friends. Besides, using a doubtful quote from a doubtful source instead of serious historic research is puerile. As is quoting the late Israel Shahak. Too bad.

Update: I was brought under some (friendly) pressure to put here the real words of Moshe Dayan. Here they are. So, just some twisting of the original text, how do you like it?

And now - back to the beginning of that rather unfortunate piece:

With the bizarre, not to say unique, events in Jericho last week - surely the first case of a jailbreak intended to keep the prisoners inside - Israel has again shown an impressive indifference to outside opinion.

And what, pray, does that "outside opinion" has to do with the killers having to carry their sentence, with observers running away and jailers being put on notice by PFLP? Especially in view of the general goings-on in the Jericho prison? Should Israel apply to UN in a case like this? Or, maybe, to the Arab League? But anyway: please stay impressed by our indifference to your opinion.

I shall stay impressed by your crafty weave of half-truths and half-lies that makes you quite a tad more dangerous than my dear friend Mahmoud A. At least in his case I know precisely who I am dealing with.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com


I don't know - could you refuse such an offer?

I have to check with my rabbi...

Hat tip - ZioNation.

Wow, Chris!

This is an update to the previous post dedicated to the strange "creative" habits of Chris McGreal.

Now a friend of our blog that prefers to stay anonymous pointed out a new twist in that bizzare story. It appears that Khalid Amayreh, who apparently is the source of "inspiration" for the intrepid Chris, is not only a Hamas partisan but a Holocaust denier as well. Take a look, I shall not quote this hateful garbage. Follow two pictures of Chris' mentor:

(I just couldn't decide which one I like better)

Ways to go, Chris!

P.S. It appears that that spellchecker I am using is quite prophetic, ain't it:

1. mackerel (dead one, re the smell)
2. meagerly (that about factual component of Chris' produce)
3. miserly (re source usage)


23 March 2006

A gathering of moonbats - in pictures.

Look here for an excellent set of pictures and a description of the ANSWER "Global Day of Action" rally that started in San Francisco on March 18.

A rare, entertaining and educational collection of loonies of all kinds, it's a promise.

Hat tip: Judeosphere.

Here it goes again

Hamas to shield fighters,

says the headline in Aljazeera, and I have chosen this source to prevent an outcry blaming the Israeli press as biased.

The intended interior minister in Hamas's government has said he will not order the arrest of fighters carrying out attacks against Israel.

Saeed Seyam, who was chosen by Hamas to oversee three security services, told Reuters on Thursday that "the file of political detention must be closed".

"The day will never come when any Palestinian would be arrested because of his political affiliation or because of resisting the occupation ...

"But the right to defend our people and to confront the aggression is granted and is legitimate."

And we all know what is meant by "resisting the occupation" and "defending our people", right, Saeed?

So don't cry after IDF does what it must do to defend our people.

But, after all, what is really new in this declaration? The habit of token arrests of the "militants" and the revolving jail doors was invented by the late Yasser as a lip service. It is time to remind everyone the ultimate and definitive description of the "earthshaking" change in the Palestinian Authority:

So let me get this straight: people are annoyed that the party that wants to destroy Israel won the elections against the other party that wants to destroy Israel, but won't actually come out and say so at the moment. Since everyone knew that the governing party that wants to destroy Israel but wont come out and say so really does want to destroy Israel whether they say so or not, why is everyone so concerned that the party that wants to destroy Israel won the election, since by definition both of the parties involved want to destroy Israel, except that the second party that wants to destroy Israel finds it politic at the moment not to mention that they want to destroy Israel just as much as the other party that wants to destroy Israel but has no qualms about bringing up the fact that they want to destroy Israel, unlike the party that wants to destroy Israel but doesnt want to come out and say that they want to destroy Israel. There is a theme here, isnt there, or have I missed something along the way?

And thanks again to Akaky. The more I read the above, the better it feels.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

Grilling Chris McGreal

Chris McGreal of the Guardian is well known as the author of many anti-Israeli pieces. Calling them biased would be an understatement, but this is not the point.

In an excellent post here, the good folks of Almost Supernatural tell about another tendency of Chris - that of plagiarism. It appears that the intrepid Israel-basher is not above a bit of copy/pasting to prop up the shaky factual foundations of his opuses.


P.S. my spell checker offers the following alternatives to "McGreal":

1. mackerel
2. meagerly
3. miserly

(Just wanted you to know)

Sex and money fail to make Germans happy

This is the conclusion made by Luke Harding of Guardian.

They have active sex lives, plenty of money and lots of friends. But according to a new survey Germans are the most pessimistic nation in Europe, with over-50s convinced their circumstances are getting inexorably worse.

As it frequently happens with some Guardian scribes, Luke got it back asswards.

The survey also revealed that Germans enjoy the most energetic sex life in Europe, with sex important for 73% among the over-50s. In Britain the figure is 50%. The British also came last when it came to physical exercise. Only 28% of over-50s in the UK take part in regular physical exercise, the survey revealed, compared with 52% in Germany. In Spain the figure is 47%, and 43% in France.

Which clearly shows that the more you exercise and have sex (which is just a different kind of exercise, let us confess), the less happy you are.

So, Luke, what else is new?

22 March 2006

Rip Van Winkle from Pleasant Hill, CA

We have received quite a few comments about the issue of the insidious Jew Bernanke, whose ascend to the lofty throne of the Federal Reserve raised some hackles. But we were sure that the fad has passed already and closed the books on the whole shebang. However, a comment arrived today that deserves to be published in full:

I was curious about Bernanke after learning that both prior Fed Chairmen Volker and Greenspan are jewish. Paul Warburg, who was a prime mover to set up our "central bank" was jewish too. A sad end to our constitution. The Federal Reserve is neither a government entity or a reserve repository. It creates money out of nothing. The Fed Reserve has taken the nation to bankruptcy.

The comment above caused me a shiver. It is possible that the events described in the story of Rip Van Winkle were not confined solely to a single person and that there is another person in North America who was put to sleep as well, in this case for a hundred years or so?

Unfortunately, the author decided to remain unnamed, no nickname even, so we'll call him John Doe from Pleasant Hill, CA. Here is a map of Pleasant Hill and surrounding area, and I strongly urge the local health authorities to comb the place and find that character. It may become a boon for zoology or whatever science deals with cases like this.

After all, constitution-shmonstitution, but the Jooz decided to get in full control of the world, and why not via the Federal Reserve? And where, Johnny, have you been for the last 100 years when we were in the process of taking over? I know several people in California - very sharp dudes, I must say, and they know precisely where their towel is and how to make others to drop their sandwiches butter down. How could such a throwback hide between them, beats me.

Still, there were a few good things said about the original Rip Van Winkle, such as: "he was a simple, good-natured man", " one of those happy mortals, of foolish, well-oiled dispositions"; and his meekness of spirit is noticed especially frequently.

And since it is clearly stated "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth" (Matthew 5:5), you, Johnny, owing to your meekness, are in for a treat. Keep asking them questions, though.

The Elders are listening...

17 March 2006

EATAPETA day in Las-Vegas

You little anti-Semites out there became restless without the daily feed from this blog, I hear. This is due to some of us being abroad and taking a short vacation from this debilitating occupation.

But don't worry - SimplyJews will be back. With vengeance, too.

Meanwhile I can report on a successful EATAPETA operation in Las Vegas.
D.C. Thornton and I spent a lovely evening with three other participants presented below:

Moona, the first participant, has chosen not to appear here in person, so you get only the generic presentation here, but you can study her succulent parts in detail.

Joceline (above) was not shy at all and agreed to her picture appearing here.

Miriam, too, hasn't expressed any objections to some PR.

We have ensured that all three participants were butchered in the most possibly painful way, since it is an open secret in the gourmet community that adrenaline and other chemicals produced by the animal's glands during stress and suffering enhance the taste of the said animal to no end.

We have not discussed any PETA-related issued during the meal, concentrating instead on food, politics and life in general. I am pleased to report that DCT is one of the nicest persons I ever had the honor to share a table with, and I liked him immensely.

Moona, Joceline and Miriam were mostly silent during our evening together, being general ly in agreement with the speakers.

I should mention one remarkable fact related to this evening: not a single PETA member appeared in vicinity of that shrine of carnivores - Memphis Championship Barbecue on Rainbow Blvd. We were confused a bit by such an apathy displayed by the PETA community. But the real reason for their absence came to light later. It appears that due to the general problem of low IQ related to the too low cholesterol level and lack of essential vitamins, the PETA members arrived to a wrong location, choosing the one on the Warm Spring Rd. There they tried to protest against carnivores by pissing on the back wall of the establishment. This act would have passed totally unnoticed, save for a mishap experienced by one of their team. The poor schlub slipped in a poodle of his own making, breaking a leg and an index finger on his left hand for his trouble. Now he is not only confined to his bed, but the only pastime he is good at - exploring his nasal cavities - is not available to him.

Here is the report by DCT.

12 March 2006

Looking for hot Jewish girl-on-girl action?

Beth Din approved

11 March 2006

Swedish Cops are Suffering from Stockholm Syndrome

A bit over the top, but just enough to be funny.
And gruesome, but this is what we live with these days.

Calling Fox a man who maintained "a firm opposition to all oppression," Rose urged anyone angered by Fox's death not to retaliate and to "set aside all inclination to vilify or demonize others, no matter what they have done.

Sure, Miz Rose, sure...

Two views on Iran's nukes

The Ayatollahs have found themselves a supporter of the useful idiot category. IRNA is quite happy about this.

Angelika Beer, a member of the Foreign Affairs Committee of the European Parliament and chair of the Iran delegation in the EP, has called on the European Union not to blindly toe the US policy towards Iran.

"The decision by the IAEA to refer Iran to the UN Security Council gives the thumbs up to the confrontational approach of the US and will seriously damage the chances of a negotiated solution," said Beer, a German member of the EP for the Greens, in a statement issued Friday in Brussels.

Angelika (or her predecessors) probably tied themselves (naked or otherwise) to the gates of the NATO nuclear facilities or power stations to protest against nukes (military or otherwise), but Iranian nukes seem to be relatively benign to the useful idiots everywhere.

IRNA folks also slobber happily over the Pakistan reaction:

"Ummah to side with Iran in case of US-Israel attack: Pak official", says another headline.

Interesting that the term "Pak", that would be considered a racial slur in the West, is freely used by Iran's official organ. But the article itself is more interesting:

In an interview with IRNA here, Maulana Ramzan Tauqir, who is advisor to NWFP Chief Minister Akram Khan Durrani, flayed the US and its allies for propagating against Iran's peaceful nuclear programme.

"The aim of US and Israeli threat to Iran is to deviate the attention of the international community from anti-cartoon issue," he pointed out.

Now the diabolical plan of the Zionists is totally out of the closet. They have drawn the cartoons in their secret WMD labs to use the ensuing brouhaha to "propagate" against Iran's oh so peaceful and gentle nukes. Shame on their chutzpah!

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

This time it really was the Zionists

So who broke the news of the XXth Party Congress at which Comrade Kruschev denounced Stalin?

Yep. It was us. We Elders still sit around having a laugh about that operation.

10 March 2006

How does he do it?

Andrew Ian Dodge certainly gets around the Internet space. How does he get to all these places, I wouldn't even try to guess, but he is dealing with supernatural stuff, between other things, so... Anyway, thanks to him, I can point you to a nice cartoon place I didn't know about 10 minutes ago.
Take a look and enjoy!

Hollywood - Shmollywood: Center

Penning (keyboarding would be more apt) that little piece on NRO article about the one-sidedness in the latest Hollywood output, I did not expect that Meryl will see a need to "counterpunch" it. Moreover, I have even remarked on NRO as "the distillery of the rightwing voice", far from identifying myself with NRO. Indeed, while having quite a few talented people on the roster, they are not to my personal taste. It would be hard to classify me as a rightwinger, especially in USA, where a card-carrying Democrat is somewhere to the right of the typical European rightist. I am quite left of center, and would blush if forced to tell you what that insidious Political Compass says about me.

But enough with generalizations, that are usually wide off the mark in any case, and back to Shmollywood. And I completely agree with Meryl that the prime motivating drive of this place is to make money, and the money is made in one way only - producing stuff that attracts customers.

Still, the question is: why is that none of the subjects raised by Mark Goldblatt in the linked article found its way not only in the list of nominees, but in any new movie made by a serious producer? And I do not count the endless thrillers with Muslims playing the role of modern Injuns and indomitable Schwartzy doing his stuff.

Amerophobia or Islamophobia?

The headline of today's Guardian on-line edition really screams at you:

Islamophobia worse in America now than after 9/11, survey finds

Drop your groceries, people, stop the machines! Islamophobia is rearing its ugly face, and all people of good will must mobilize for the good war on the side of righteous! With the tireless knights of freedom, equality and justice from Guardian leading us, of course.

Er... well... maybe we should read the article first? Let's see what these American Islamophobs are up to.

More than half of Americans believe there are more violent extremists within Islam than in any other religion and that the faith encourages violence against non-Muslims, according to a Washington Post-ABC News poll yesterday.

These Yanks are purely impossible, I say. Where could this stupid notion of the violent extremism within Islam come from? From this:

Or, maybe, from this:

Hard to tell...

A majority, 58%, of those interviewed now believe that Islam has more violent followers than any other religion.

Where do these stupid Americans get such a backward idea, beats Suzanne Goldenberg and the usual Guarding flock of faithful readers. It is widely known that the most violent and bloody religion is Buddhism, after all.

I have a humble request to Miz
Goldenberg: please explain how this hysterical headline meshes with the perception of these backward Americans that there is more than just a dollop of violence in Islam and why, for crying out loud, do you call this perception ISLAMOPHOBIA?

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

P.S. And apologies for inventing that ugly Amerophobia word, and yes, I know that America is not all USA.

09 March 2006

Please, no more pain!

Aljazeera (the .com variety) happily reports on the extraordinary attack by Iranian delegation to IAEA. It started with threats:

Iran threatened the United States with “harm and pain” for its role in referring Tehran’s nuclear case to the UN Security Council, Reuters news agency reported. The Iranian threats came as the International Atomic Energy Agency, meeting in Vienna, forwarded a report on Iran’s nuclear program to the UN Security Council for consideration of possible sanctions. "The United States may have the power to cause harm and pain but it is also susceptible to harm and pain,“ the Iranian delegation at the IAEA said in a statement. "So if the United States wishes to choose that path, let the ball roll."

As threats go, the above is quite strong, but in this case it was supported by action. Look at this:

This is Iran’s national security official Javad Vaeedi. I submit that images like this one should be considered WMD and regulated by NPT as strictly as the nukes.

I have already lost my will to live. And what else do Ayatollahs keep in their arsenals, devil only knows...

Moussaoui had a dream...

According to this AP report (via Guardian):

In his sleep, a dream formed in the mind of confessed al-Qaida conspirator Zacarias Moussaoui: pilot a plane and crash it into the White House. The dream was important enough that he told his supreme commander, Osama bin Laden, all about it.

And here comes the punchline:

That dream has taken on a significant role in Moussaoui's death-penalty trial. Prosecutors say Moussaoui took flight training to try to make his dream of piloting an aircraft in a terrorist attack become reality. The defense argues it was the fanciful musings of a deranged mind.

An interesting legal argument that, "deranged mind". According to it, no member of al-Qaida could be put on trial.

Taken another logical step further, this premise may lead to a pretty interesting conclusions. Like, for example, make redundant the trials in case of possible Al-Qaida member capture. Just...

Nah, better not to go there.

Jews and neo-Nazis together?

Forward reports on a very peculiar phenomenon: participation of some Jews in a white supremacism movement that calls itself "American Renaissance". It appears that there are some mental cases of Jewish persuasion that attempt to find their place in this hateful racist group. In spite of this:

After congratulating Faye for stirring remarks that "touched my genes," Duke asked if there weren't an even more insidious threat to the West than Islam.

"There is a power in the world that dominates our media, influences our government and that has led to the internal destruction of our will and our spirit," Duke said.

"Tell us, tell us," came a call from the back of the room.

"I'm not going to say it," Duke said to rising laughter.

Jews sitting in the same room with Guillaume Faye, David Duke, Jared Taylor? Impossible to imagine, but here you are. Follows an example of a Jewish participant.

Son of a card-carrying Communist, Berman marched on Washington with Martin Luther King Jr. But, he wrote, that was before two of his sisters were raped by black men and before he served eight years as the dean of boys at Brooklyn's George W. Wingate High School, where "we averaged five arrests a day." These days he attends American Renaissance conferences, and this year he brought a likeminded former teaching colleague to serve as his shabbos goy.

And here is the due repayment for Mr. Berman:

Not everyone at last weekend's meeting could stay cool on the Jewish question. Before Faye spoke, Michael Matthews, an attendee from New Jersey, passed Michael Berman in the hotel foyer.

"Are you a Jew?" Matthews demanded. "I don't think you should be here."

Berman was hurt.

"You see, there's no home for me,'' he sighed after Matthews had left. "I'm like a black sheep here and everywhere I go."

Actually there is a home for Berman and his new Neo-Nazi friends: a garbage dump. Somewhere in an isolated area - to prevent contamination.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

Separated at birth?

Clare Short and Yuschenko? Who would have thought?
But the issue goes a lot deeper than just a superficial likeness. Look what I have stumbled upon in the murky depths of the Internet:

This picture clearly places Yuschenko where he belongs. Now we just must sort out the Short dame's provenance. Unfortunately, our archives do not have a mention of a field agent with matching appearance. But our archives of the appropriate period are a right mess, due to some issues with financing of field agents I wouldn't go into.

Could she be a mole?

The picture above is not exactly what we had in mind, but you will have to excuse us, this is what our photo archive had matching the term. Click to enlarge if you like it.

Dedicated to Irina.

08 March 2006

Penis-Melting Zionist Robot Combs

This story was one of the very few we, the Elders, wanted to keep quiet about. Even in the current atmosphere of openness there are some things we prefer not to divulge.

The phrase 'penis-melting Zionist robot combs,' while not widely known, does seem to be growing in popularity. The phrase refers to a mass panic that swept through Khartoum, the capital of Sudan, in September 2003. The people of Khartoum feared that a Satanic foreigner was going around shaking hands with Sudanese men and thereby causing their penises to melt upwards inside their body. In one case a man reported that he was approached by a stranger at the market. The stranger handed him a comb and asked him to comb his hair. "When he did so, within seconds... he felt a strange sensation and discovered that he had lost his penis." The Sudanese journalist Ja'far Abbas interjected a note of scientific rationality into the growing hysteria by making this observation in his column in the Saudi daily Al-Watan:

No doubt, this comb was a laser-controlled surgical robot that penetrates the skull [and passes] to the lower body and emasculates a man!!
I wanted to tell that man who fell victim to the electronic comb: 'You jackass, how can you put a comb from a man you don't know to your head, while even relatives avoid using the same comb?!' ... That man [i.e. the mysterious stranger], who, as it is claimed, is from West Africa, is an imperialist Zionist agent that was sent to prevent our people from procreating and multiplying.

Oh, well, now that this story is out, we must confess. The penises in question were not "melting upwards" into the body of the victims. We have plainly stolen them.

We have used the gains of this diabolical enterprise to express our gratitude to our elite field agents. Kind of a bonus, actually. One that would stay with the person for a long time and make his girlfriends happy.

If you know what I mean, of course. If not, too bad.

There will be no pictures in this post!

Hat tip - Judeosphere.

This is Clare Short, children

And she doesn't like Jooz. Neither grown-ups nor wee little ones like you.

So you know what happens when you leave your food on the plate?

Hollywood, Shmollywood

These days everyone is either praising or bashing Hollywood. This article from NRO (the distillery of the rightwing voice) is on the side of the bashers and raises some legitimate questions about one-sidedness of this establishment. To remind you - Hollywood is Joo-owned, as it is widely recognized by the left wing media. As such, it could be looked upon as a department of the Elders' outfit gone temporary out of control.

By and large, the NRO article hits the nail on the head. There is nothing to answer to the questions raised. Hollywood is playing a dangerous game, and the name of it is: half truths.

I don't have any special problem with a bit of bashing applied to the corrupt and greedy oil company executives, nor with some creative expose of the late Senator Joe McCarthy (it is really cool of the producer and staff to dare raising this subject!). You know, I didn't even mind that Turkish thriller where the Jewish doctor plays around with Iraqi pre-owned organs. After all, freedom of speech must be guarded, and the tastes of the public are all-important in the free market.

However, the consistent disregard of the issues from the other side of the coin, so succintly presented in NRO, is making the Hollywood crowd nothing more than purveyors of half truths. And it should be noted that half-truth is the more dangerous sibling of outright lie. It plays with brains of the left- and right-wingers and pushes them into the twilight areas of the mind that simple liars don't even dream about.

So, Hollywood - sit up and take heed. The Elders put you on notice. Either straighten out or plan to move to an area more suitable for the half truths you are peddling.

Want a hint re geography of such areas?

Hat tip - our Elder colleague.

The Graun's Ouroboros

This is what Wikipedia has to say about the Ouroboros:

"The Ouroboros (also spelled Oroborus, Uroboros or Uroborus) is an ancient symbol depicting a snake or dragon swallowing its own tail, constantly creating itself and forming a circle. It often represents self-reflexivity or cyclicality."

The habit of, let's say it directly as the Elders' like, biting itself in the arse, does not belong solely to the mythical creatures. Some, supposedly intelligent, bipeds do it quite successfully on a regular basis. Take, for one, the latest leader in Guardian:

"The Islamists won January's elections not because a majority of Palestinians suddenly became fundamentalists, but because the PA under Yasser Arafat and Mahmoud Abbas was corrupt and ineffective, largely because the Oslo accords failed to deliver viable independence."

In this quote the author has done at least two rounds inside his own body already. He/she is so deep into it, that there is a danger of becoming just a smallish point (or a wet spot). It shouldn't take a genius to discern that circular logic that comes back to the same good ole conclusion: the Jooz are whodunit.

Another point: Brits used to blame Americans that (indeed) tend to invent verbs out of innocent nouns. How do you like this one, then:

"It would be a mistake to fetishise the recognition question."

A doozy, innit?

P.S. Forgot to say that the whole article is so full of shit it fairly squeaks.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

Bread statue popular with pigeons

Whoever worried about possible stagnation in arts, could rest assured. Here is a shining example of new ways to baffle the bourgeois minds. A self-portrait in bread.

As you can see, the act of creation is shared with our avian friends. The end result may not make the best sandwich, but the public has been fed worse, I am sure.

Says the artist: "I am the person who has the most access to my mind, so I should be the starting point of my pieces."

I would guess that the pigeons got access to that mind too, leaving their gifts to human culture there. Even before that statue was conceived.

07 March 2006

Which country allows you THIS?

(The capitals in THIS were a typo, but I have decided to leave it this way).

The Big Pharaoh asks this question. Follow the links and you shall see the answer.

I would add a question: which organ does the hero of the article mean? Your guess, but I must say there is not a lot of gray matter in that organ.

It is practically a sin not to become a terrorist in that place. After all, they provide you a flat, an allowance. Probably the virgins for, you know, the bright future, too...


Another one with a green halo?

If you remember (don't feel guilty, it is only a figger of speech), the Iranian president, that funny Mahmud Ahmadinejad fellow was very excited about the green halo that emanated from him during the UN speech. It appeared to be a practical joke.

Now we have another similar case at home:

The picture was linked by Haaretz to the article Olmert: We will freeze spending on West Bank construction.

Does that mean Haaretz crowd is happy? Dissatisfied? Bored?

Democrat for Senate: Kill practicing gays

It sounds like a practical joke, doesn't it? But the news come from WND, and that place is not known for its particular love for gays.

A Democratic candidate for the U.S. Senate in Ohio wants to make homosexual behavior a capital crime punishable by the death penalty.

Merrill Keiser Jr. is a trucker with no political experience, but he hopes to beat fellow Democrat Rep. Brown in the May primary. The winner will try to unseat Republican incumbent Sen. Mike DeWine, assuming he wins the GOP primary.

Keiser told the Register the United States should make conversion to Christianity part of the war on terror to teach Muslims the error of their choice in religion.

"The teaching of evolution works against the liberties we have in the United States," he told the paper. If a person believe in evolution, he or she "has no rights," he's quoted saying.

Even for a card-carrying dinosaur it is a bit over the top, wouldn't you agree. It is rather a more simple primordial life form we are discussing here.

Some people have an idea that might have explained this phenomenon.

Liberal blogger Deborah White was less than thrilled with Keiser's candidacy and the media's response to it.

"What if this hate-filled moron called for the execution of all blacks or all Jews?" she asked. "Would the public outcry be similarly subdued? Would the press still report it as a cute curiosity or merely an alternative viewpoint? Where is moral outrage in 2006?"

White speculated Keiser was planted by the GOP.

"He must be a Republican plant," she wrote. "Please ... someone tell me I'm correct."

But, Deborah, even for a Republican the guy is too much, I am sure.

I would tell him to go and fuck himself, but it may lead him to homosexuality, which he so hates...