18 August 2006

A sanity test

There is no better sanity test than to visit an article in Comment is Free on Guardian and check out the comments to a piece on the Middle Eastern affairs or the USA. Or on Tony Blair. If you are unable to detect a case of mass insanity in the comments after reading, say, twenty of them - get an urgent appointment with a psychiatrist.

It so happened that while browsing the main page of CiF looking for a likely article, I have discovered an Oliver Kamm's piece. This fact by itself is amazing: what, that Oliver Kamm? On CiF? Come on, somebody is pulling someone's leg...

But it's true - go there and check out by yourself. Anyway, this post is about sanity test, and I am happy to declare that today I have passed it, with flying colors too. Suffice to say that Oliver was accused of multiple crimes, such as (but not limited to, due to a very quick browse I gave to the comments):

  • Being a Mossad agent
  • Being a neocon Zionist
  • Being a Hitler's admirer
  • Being an AIPAC stooge
  • Being a warmongering worshipper of power (doesn't it roll nicely of your tongue?)
But I have decided to choose as a sample a comment that reflects real grassroot thinking in certain circles, unlike the refined, politically inspired and comparatively tame ravings of the British lefties. After all, there is nothing new in the predictable and pathetic finger spasms and dribbling on the keyboard that comes from the vitamin - deficient paleface brigade of SWP and RESPECT. Here, ladies and gentlemen, I give you a real mensch:

antojr

August 18, 2006 02:59 AM

All lies. Nonsense upon nonsense. Israel holds 10,000 Lebanese hostages. It killed a Palestinian family with an Artillery shell and captured two Gaza civilians days before the Leb. war. Plus it is generally believed in the Arab world that the Israeli soldiers who were captured were in Lebanese territory at the time. Anyway it is clear that this war was planned years in advance just like the war in Iraq. It does not matter how much they lie. Truth is like a gas in a liquid host; it will always rise.

Atta boy, antojr! We, the Elders, definitely like this no nonsense approach of yours, and decided to support some of the statements you made there.

Nonsense upon nonsense.

Right, have I mentioned liking your no nons.. or yeah.

Israel holds 10,000 Lebanese hostages.

It is really 186.458 at the last count. And they tend to procreate, so it is a real problem here. We are out of chores for the house help, and this becomes overwhelming! I myself have to use one of them solely to open and close the door and another to stand in the entrance hall with his hands sticking out for a coat hanger. Imagine the quandary!

It killed a Palestinian family with an Artillery shell and captured two Gaza civilians days before the Leb. war.

I kill a Palestinian with a Kitchen Knife before drinking my Orange Juice at breakfast time. And I hate Orange Juice, I can tell you! As for capturing Palestinians - this is strictly for Organ harvesting, since there is that issue of house help (see above).

Plus it is generally believed in the Arab world that the Israeli soldiers who were captured were in Lebanese territory at the time.

They were deep in the Lebanese territory, I can tell you now. Raping the Lebanese ladies and killing and grilling the cattle. Some of them even have torn the abaya from the heads of the women before raping them. These stupid infidels wanted to make sure they are raping females, but now the poor ones have to be stoned after such disgrace, so see to it, will you, antojr?

Truth is like a gas in a liquid host; it will always rise.

This one was impossible to get our heads around, antojr. But we all agreed that beer and some other carbonated drinks can have you belching somewhat frightful. I, personally, know a guy, though, who could burp out Hatikva without drinking anything. Just swallowing lots of air beforehand. Ain't it cool?

So, antojr, be well and write to us, we'll publish everything. And I mean it.