Darvin the Jew, north African monkeys and genetically modified Ayatollahs

No worries, this dense headline will be totally illuminated soon. The story starts in Turkey, where a local scientist, one Seyfi Sahin, came up with incontrovertible proof that:

The theory of evolution was put forward by a Jew called Darwin. Therefore, it is an opinion. The aim of this theory is to turn the non-Jews away from their religion, to harm their faith, and to make them suspicious about their religion. Darwin, being a Jew, believed, lived, and was buried according to his religion. His real targets were the Muslims. Most likely, Darwin knew about these Koranic verses. In the Holy Koran, Allah responded very well to these perverts.

Difficult to argue with that discovery, you would agree. But this is only for starters, there is more:

I believe that the gorillas and chimps living today in the forests of North Africa are cursed Jews. They are perverted humans that have mutated. This thought is much stronger and scientific than Darwin's theory.

Even if I wanted to object to this thesis, the first thing that came to mind stopped me cold:

What can you say after this? Yep, the forests of North Africa are teeming with all kinds...

And in totally related news, Iranian Ali Karami, specialist in medical biotechnology, got on another diabolical case of Zionist scientific mayhem.

Imports of genetically modified products are a “Zionist plot” to infect Iranians with diseases and a “serious example of infiltration,” a researcher says.

Ali Karami, specialist in medical biotechnology and genetic engineering, believes an “import mafia” is behind the distribution of GMO products in the country.

Press TV, the Iranian news agency that posted the article, even succeeded to catch the Zionist eggheads in flagrante:

I am only allowed to give you a hint, but this hint will tell you how it may be too late for Mr Karami's warning. Them GM products have already changed the DNA of most Iranians, including some very well known figures, like that one:

I am sure you can connect the dots between Tehran and north Africa now, without my prodding.

So there.