Swine flu symptoms in one easy step

When you look at the list of symptoms on an official site like this one, there is one easily reached conclusion: with a ten-bullets list of signs you may experience (on one hand) or may not experience (on the other hand), you could be suffering either from swine flu or from green spot fever of prairie dogs from Nagorny Karabach (to use one example of many thousands). Your chances of successful (oh well...) diagnosis are nil for all purposes.

And the reason is laughably simple: the learned physicians that prepared the list of symptoms were internists who couldn't care less about the external, visual signs of the disease. Should they have consulted an ophthalmologist or even an optometrist, the diagnostic process would have been reduced to one item. Which is: just look at a mirror. If you see something like this:

you should stay at home and call your family doctor (or emergency services) immediately.

Hat tip: D.B.