03 December 2014

Muhammad Uxama - a man in Rawalpindi who cares about me

This is a rare and special day for me, and I have to share it with you, my dear reader(s). The e-mail associated with this here blog, the simplyjews at gmail dot com, receives quite a lot of input every single day, weekends and holidays included.

A good part of it is not intended for yours truly or his colleagues, lazy so and so as they all (with one exception) are. All kinds of political stuff, notices, announcements, of course offers to lengthen this or otherwise embiggen that etc. And we all have got tired filing the various offers of humongous reward for simple financial services, like handling some expired tyrant's treasure.

Today, though, was different. A personal and heartwarming message finally arrived. Here it is, it all its original glory:

To save you a click, here is the text:
about your mind

muhammad uxama


Who ever you are you are in danger.if you die in jews u will face danger for ever i am not gonna abuse you because its not your mistake.please i am begging you to come to islam for your future.
The mere thought that somebody so far away (3563.09 km from Tel Aviv as crow flies) cares enough about me to craft a personal message, fills me with quiet but powerful happiness, the likes of which not a single contributor to this blog experienced yet. Here is some basic info (Google+) about the would be savior:

I don't know what else do they teach in the Rawalpindi Army Public School, but it is clear that they must be very strong on care and compassion there, to inspire a doubtlessly busy student to perform such act of selfless and touching remote care. So, in the spirit of gratefulness, I have to respond to this call, in an open letter, no less:

Dear Muhammad... (should I, possibly, change it to "Mr Uxama"? No, let it stay). So:

Dear Muhammad,

I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your message of brotherly love and care. Coupled with your promise not to abuse me and your kind warning about the danger awaiting me upon my demise, it opens really new vistas of the future, full with promise and  hope for the humanity in general.

As for your generous offer for me to come to Islam: I am quite old and can't see myself shlepping 3563.09 km (as crow flies) to Rawalpindi. So, if it is all the same to you, I will stay here and die in Jews. But I promise I shall spread the offer as far and wide as possibly, so expect a quite strong wave of newcomers to that AECHS place of yours in the near future.

P.S. But if you ever decide to change your mind re Islam and end up in Jews, please do not hesitate to let me know. We'll take care of that request with lightning speed. Expect the first three answers to be "no"...

With kind regards,



Dick Stanley said...

Ah, yes, the old "die in Jews" complaint. A fearsome fate, indeed.

Dick Stanley said...

Surely it will be Valerie, the best example yet of botox used to excess.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

But the love, aren't you smitten but the love that radiates from the letter?

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Oh, the botox in our lives...

Sennacherib said...

I, Sennacherib must register my distress. Sennacherib realizes that Assyrian-Israeli relations in the past have been shall we say tense, but must you people publish the picture of my ex-wife (see above), this disturbs my eternal rest greatly.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

As a compensation I offer you a rebate in the form of our documentation of her latest driving achievement:


Hope it is a sufficient compensation for the anguish caused by the previous photo.

Sennacherib said...

So many years and no change in her. You should have seen what she'd do in a chariot! The gold pieces doled out for peasant's chickens, goats, and the odd Amorite she would run over were as the sand of the sea.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

What can I say? Sometimes consistency in a person could be a burden, as many a married man could testify.